This year I’m going to be 26, which mathematically is the other side of 25, and by all standards puts me closer to 30 than to 20. As I’m watching my friends turn 26, I see them having panic attacks that they don’t “have it together” yet. Meanwhile, some of those people, and others, are telling me they don’t know how I do it and have everything together. I wish they believed me when I say: I don’t have my sh*t together.
Not even a little bit!
I’m also willing to bet that a large number of people in the world who are on the horrible “other side of 25” don’t have their ish together. I’m serious! I don’t think I really know anyone who feels like they have their ish together.
When I was 20 years old, I had a quarter-life crisis. I was at the height of my anxiety and having multiple panic attacks a day and all I wanted was stability. All I wanted was to be 25, married with a kid on the way.
Here I am. 25. Married. Kid on the way. By the standards of 20 year old me, I’ve got it together. On top of all of that I have: my degree, a career, my own place to live, three pets and a very happy life. But there is no way that I have stability.
For starters, we have a roommate to help us pay rent, while we still live paycheck to paycheck. We’re finally managing to save money, but we have about the same amount of debt as we make in one year. Our home is always on the verge of being a mess. I still don’t know how to cook. I’m still working two jobs to survive. I definitely don’t have it together.
But I do have happiness and a positive outlook on life. I believe this is what separates me from the people who look out of control. It’s not that I portray myself as someone who has it together or as someone who is a hot mess. What you see is what you get with me. You want to come to my house? Cool. It’s going to be a mess, my dog is going to be terrified and barking at you and I’m proud of it.
Is that the definition of having it together? That I love and accept my life? That I know whatever happens we will find a way for things to work and we will be happy?
It’s easy to look at others’ lives on social media and from the outside and think they have it together. They must have it together…they’ve bought a house! But maybe they haven’t achieved the goals they have for themselves and don’t feel together at all.I may not have it together, but I love my life! Click To Tweet
Part of living intentionally, to me, is to realize that maybe I don’t have it together and it looks like the person on the train next to me does, but that doesn’t mean I should feel jealous, judge them or look at them differently. Instead, I am going to open my heart and my ears up (in case they need it) and stop worrying about their life and only think about how I can improve mine (by my own standards.)