WQ Breakdown: Embrace Heartbreak

I accidentally dropped the ball on my WQ Breakdown series thanks to a few technical difficulties and pregnancy brain. But I’m back now, to break down the warrior queen definition some more. If you’ve been feeling confused about the meaning of warrior queen or how to be a warrior queen, please feel free to read the overview on the movement.

wqbreakdown

I’d love for you to follow along with the weekly breakdown! Here is a schedule:

March 4, 2015: Be the Best of You
April 1, 2015: Be Strong
August 31, 2015: Embrace Heartbreak
September 7, 2015: Don’t Restrict Yourself
September 14, 2015: Make Your Own Decisions
September 21, 2015: Never Regret
September 28, 2015: Show Your Emotions
October 5, 2015: Fall in Love
October 12, 2015: Do What’s Best For You
October 19, 2015: Never Intentionally Hurt Another
October 26, 2015: Change is Necessary
November 2, 2015: With Grace
November 9, 2015: Never Feel Inferior
November 16, 2015: See the Good
November 23, 2015: Do Good
November 30, 2015: Love With Every Ounce
December 7, 2015: Stand Up For Your Beliefs

The dates may change but I will try to keep this list as up to date as possible!

Embrace Heartbreak, it will teach you something about yourself.

If you’ve read my history of the Warrior Queen movement, you know that it started in high school among my friends and I. I didn’t really get into the nitty gritty planning of my magazine / movement until the year after high school. That summer I was in overdrive.

My high school boyfriend broke up with me as I arrived home from Ohio for the summer. After a few obviously dark weeks, I decided to take up journaling and planning WQ – ironically it was my ex’s idea.

The two of us dated for a little over a year and he was my first real relationship. All of his friends had become my friends, as high school relationships often end up. So when he broke up with me I was devastated. As teen boys often do, he phrased the break up as a “break” so we continued to hang out, just not as a couple.

Obviously, this broke my heart more. Seriously, girls, if you and someone break up or go on a break, take that time to be completely without contact. It is the best way for you to really heal.

For days, I barely ate. When I did eat, it wasn’t very much and it wasn’t particularly healthy. Most days it was a struggle to get out of bed – until I started journaling.

Those journal pages are long gone. I ripped them out and burned them. I took the gifts he had made me and destroyed them. I wouldn’t say to always do that, but it was something I needed to do.

I read It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy
(by the authors of  He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys). I loved it.  I’m a tad bit self-help book obsessed.

With this heartbreak, breakup and self-help obsession, I learned a lot about myself. I learned about my dream. I learned about the ways I deal with pain. I learned how to move on.

embrace heartbreak

Heartbreak doesn’t always come in the form of a romantic relationship. You could be heartbroken about a family member, a friendship, a life situation, a tragedy, or the loss of your dreams. You could break your own heart with your decisions. Heartbreak is different for every person but it is universally felt.

Growth can always come from heartbreak, though not everyone realizes it. There is so much potential in that negative.

My favorite way to change heartbreak into a positive is through motivation. Every time I suffered a romantic or friend heartbreak, I would reflect and find the motivation. Most of my productivity came from heartbreak until it became my norm.

Will you join me in this? Tell the world!

embrace heartbreak2

raewyn

Are You a Hippy Mama?

I always giggled a little when I’d see Instamoms with bios that said “I’m crunchy” or “Granola Mom.” I thought it was a funny way to be a hi I would always think “Those moms are hippies and probably think they’re better than everyone else because they’re more intuned with nature.”

Then I had Delainey and I realized…I’m a little bit crunchy, a little bit granola. Alright, I’m a hippy mama. And I’ve met a lot of those “granola moms” and realized that they’re not stuck up and they don’t think they’re better than everyone else. On the contrary, they’re just doing what they think is better for their child.

hippy mama

I told my mom the other day that I never thought I’d be like this and she laughed and said she knew all along. I responded with shock because I really thought I’d be more mainstream. I always try to be more activist than passive but I’ve learned that on the scale, I tend to fall more toward the middle. Actually, I recall a Myspace bio that said something about being more mainstream than people expect me to be.

I mean, I’ll choose convenience over the perfectly home cooked meal any day. But when it comes to my child, I’m going to try my best to give her the best. It’s every mama’s goal.

For me, that “best” looks like breastfeeding, babywearing, baby food making, baby led weaning and sign language teaching.

For other mamas it might look like formula, babywearing, whatever food we can get our baby to eat and daycare.

Still other mamas might be totally against babywearing but still breastfeed for several years.

Here’s the thing mamas, we’re all doing our best out here! Our best is whatever is best for our family, which often means whichever keeps mama less stressed.

I like breastfeeding because I don’t have to spend money on it. I’m living the broke life so free sounds good to me. I want to try baby led weaning because I was a really picky eater and I want my child to have more food confidence than I did. (Seriously, one year I only wanted to eat mashed potatoes…) Plus, this is the way things were done before someone decided to puree some food, market it and sell it to busy people.

I like babywearing because it keeps Delainey happy and it gives me the ability to do some things. Sign language has always been a given for me, since communication is so important.

Pregnant Me thought she was against a lot of the things New Mom Me does or thinks about doing. I’m more educated now than I was then.

So let me share some of that education:

  • In 2013, 91.6% of new moms in California breastfed, with over 70% lasting six months or more. via the CDC
    Prior to my pregnancy, I still thought breastfeeding was not very common because of the stigma society puts on breastfeeding in public. 
  • In the United States, it is federal law that employers provide reasonable break time for nursing mothers. via the CDC.
  • Here is a list of state breastfeeding in public laws.
  • Have you ever heard of the 4th Trimester? Neither had I until recently, but it makes a lot of sense.
  • Babywearing can lead to a happier, healthier and more comfortable baby. Preemies and children with special needs especially benefit because of their fragile nervous systems. Babywearing provides more skin to skin contact, putting the baby in tune with mama’s heartbeat. Via Babywearing International.
  • Nowhere does it state that a child must go from milk/formula to pureed food and then solid food. Babies will naturally take an interest in their parents food. Besides heavily seasoned food and food that tends to cause allergy, children may try any solid as early as 4 months old.
    I always thought that babies had to eat food out of the jar and that regular solid food was horrible for them.

So, now that we all have a better understanding on some facts, you could repeat after me:

As a mama, I’m doing my best for my child(ren). That mama over there is doing her best for her children. There are already so many people out there wanting to judge moms for their actions. I will not join in the hate. End the mommy wars!

This one’s for the mamas that do all they can and end up making mistakes because their tired brains can only take so much. This one’s for the mamas who go against what others have said because they know what’s best for their babies. This one’s for the mamas who listen to their instincts.

If you’re a mama, give yourself a pat on the back. You’re doing awesome! Tell your mom friend she’s doing great, too. If you’re not a mama, tell your mom friends they’re doing great and offer some help (which, if you saw on Instagram, help roughly translates into coffee).

Actually, let’s all just have a nice cup of coffee and support one another.

raewyn

P.s. Although I don’t want to start a big controversy, I think it’s important to note that I am and always will be a supporter of vaccinations. I understand some people are not and may take offense by the words that I say. I do my scientific research so please do not try to convince me otherwise. I am a believer in herd immunities, especially as they will protect those with cancer, allergies to vaccinations and auto-immune disorders. I am extremely happy that California now requires all public school children to be vaccinated.

Wooden Wrist Watch

Favorite WQ Posts

It’s been awhile since I’ve put together a list of my favorite Warrior Queen posts. I think I have quite a few new followers who have only seen my recent contributor posts and mommy posts.

Here’s a semi-old quick introduction so you can get to know a little more about me and my dreams for Warrior Queen. The only thing that’s really changed is that I’m a mom now.

Be A Warrior Queen Intro

Top Warrior Queen Posts

cartoonrolemodels

New Mom Thoughts: Cartoon Role Models

whohasittogether

Who Really Has it Together?

loveismyreligion

Love is My Religion

wp

To My Warrior Princess

Friendship in Times of Need

whatiswq

Warrior Queen Up

bodypositivemovement

Warrior Queens Love Every BODY

#FIREWORKPEOPLE (1)

Follow Your Dreams #fireworkpeople

OTO BanBossy

Our Take on #BanBossy

title_IMG_2014_0311_101528_

Always Wear Your Invisible Crown

Have you gone back through the archives? What’s your favorite warrior queen post?

raewyn

Happiness Happens

This post is inspired by Sherri’s Berries and their Happiness Happens campaign!

Nothing makes me happier than spending time with my people. I say “my people” over family because not all of these people are blood-related. I learned at a young age that family doesn’t have to be blood, but to surround myself with the people who care the most and mean the most.

It may sound strange but my most treasured times are the times that Iman and I are driving around being silly. Maybe it’s because we spent a lot of our high school friendship in that way. At any rate, the times that we turn the music up, singing and laughing have always been my favorite. Now, we’ve got Miss Delainey in our backseat and, oftentimes, Jimi in our front seat.

2015-08-19 12.56.22

Because I can’t resist a car ride with this doll

I know I don’t talk about it often, but our roommate Jimi is as much a part of our family as one of our brothers. We always joke about the fact that Jimi’s future wife will have to live with us. There’s more truth in it than joke. Whenever we talk 5 year and 10 year plans, Jimi is always a part of the conversation and the plan.

embarrassing

To prove it here is an embarrassing photo of me sleeping on the way to Vegas.

So, back to the car rides. They really seem to be a simple, every day moment. Those are the happiest moments, right?

Whenever I feel the pressures of life tightening around me and my anxiety sneaks in, I try to recreate these silly moments of music and family.

Some days it looks like dance parties in our living room.

Other days it’s song lyrics on a chalk board.

2015-08-19 17.47.05

But the best days? Those are the ones where we pile into the car, destination unknown.

How do you make happiness happen on your toughest days? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

raewyn

One Month Old

Post may contain some affiliate and paid links

onemonth

Because I #CantStopWontStop talking about my adorable daughter (I promise, I won’t become a full-blown mommy blogger!), I thought I’d recap her first month of life!

Delainey was born on a Friday night in an emergency c-section. I shared our birth story last Monday. After the initial shock of her the emergency c-section, things went pretty smoothly. In the hospital they checked her heart, her hearing and her blood sugar. Initially, she had low blood sugar on Saturday which gave me quite the scare. Apparently, when babies have low blood sugar they shake their arms in a vibrating manner. Her blood sugar was low because I usually have low blood sugar and hadn’t yet been cleared to eat food.

Our hospital stay passed pretty quickly, especially because we got to come home a day early. After we left the hospital, we promptly went to our favorite sushi restaurant to celebrate. That first night was a doozy, and I talked a little bit about it in my #FormulaForHappiness post. We’ve had progress with her sleep, though if it doesn’t continue to get better I am going to call Gerber’s certified sleep consultants.

We’ve spent the past month enjoying every second we can and trying to figure out what her cries mean and how to make her feel better. Some days, it’s just gas. Other days, she can’t figure out how to fall asleep. I’ve called the HealthNet phone nurse twice – once because I thought my 4 day old daughter had a fever; but then I learned that babies run hot and it isn’t a fever until it’s over 100.3 degrees. Then her belly button started bleeding and I panicked (of course.) Her little belly button is so cute by the way.

Then we went to the doctors for a really bad diaper rash, which was actually a skin reaction to me eating too much barbeque sauce. Apparently, my girl has a sensitivity to products with tomatoes in them. Goodbye pizza! :( She also has sensitive skin in general!

onemonthcollage

So far, The Honest Co. products have been working magically for us. She’s been wearing the newborn diapers, but we’re moving into size ones this week. I absolutely love their Diaper Bundle, and may not need to get it once a month but every 5-6 weeks. We still have a pack of newborns left and our next shipment just came in. What’s awesome is that the 4 packs of wipes they give with the bundle is enough for us, as well! I’ve also purchased the diaper cream, swim diapers for when we go to my niece’s first birthday next week, hand soap, multi-surface cleaner, air and fabric freshener and laundry detergent. I’m loving it! If you want to check them out, you can get a free sample here.

(Side note: If you’re an expecting mama and you are unsure about washing all of your baby’s clothes in baby detergent, keep your eye out for a post about that from me. I’ve now had 3 different detergents that I’ve used).

I can’t believe my little has grown SO much in one month. When she was born she weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces and lost about 5 ounces while we were in the hospital. Normally, babies lose weight for the first week or so. When she went to her first doctor’s appointment at 5 days old, she was back up to her birth weight. Her two week checkup showed that she had gained another pound. Since then, she has gained two more pounds! Can you tell she spends her days eating?

We’re now into size 0-3 mo and 3 month outfits, though they are a little loose on her. I’m planning on donating the newborn clothes to a women’s shelter nearby.

We’ve learned a lot in this first month. White noise is a godsend, as are car rides. We’re still getting used to the Moby carrier, but it can work wonders on naptime as well. Most newborns sleep the majority of the day, but not our little. She spends most of her day eating and trying to sleep. Luckily, once she’s asleep at night she stays asleep. We usually get a 3.5-5 hour stretch in at night, followed by a few 2 hour stretches. Most nights, I end up falling asleep breastfeeding her.

Breastfeeding is getting easier, and we supplement with formula less because my boobs aren’t killing me. I’m going to start pumping soon. I have the Medela Pump in Style and I just got the Freemies hands-free collection cups. On top of that, I have the Kiinde system, which I got at a discount thanks to a Facebook promotion! There are such great deals out there for so many things. I’m officially addicted to Zulily.

Mommy support groups and friendships are awesome. I’m a part of the First Time Mommies Group on Facebook and I’ve found the answer to a lot of “omg is this normal?” questions. I also love the support system I’ve found on Instagram with Mommy Connections on Mondays and Mamas + Coffee and more!

What were your top lessons in your first month as a mom? Who or what did you find supported you the most outside of your husband and family? 

raewyn

Relationships and the Seasons of Life

relationships

I really like the term “season of life.” It’s true that our life goes in a circular or cyclical pattern much like the seasons. Different things happen every time we cycle back around, much like every season is different; but overall things can be similar.

My life usually goes in a pattern of: busy beyond belief but sociable, alll the social hangs, survival mode, recluse, lather, rinse and repeat.

We can take the last year of my life and analyze (’cause I like analyzing). Before the wedding I was super busy working like a mad woman, but still able to hang out with friends. (Spring) The following summer I had a lot of free time, so all I did was hang out. (Summer) We basically had a party every Saturday night. Then, I went back to school, had two jobs, my mom was going through chemo and we adopted Bella. Then I found out I was pregnant. Enter survival mode. (Fall) I basically work like a fiend, talk to friends but rarely hang out and do everything just to survive. My anxiety is usually a little higher in this time. Following that, I become a recluse and hide away. (Winter) This was me during my maternity leave pre-Delainey. I basically hung out at home all day long every day.

This year, I skipped the spring because I had a very long Fall, and jumped right into summer. Now that Delainey is here I’m hanging out with everyone and rekindling relationships and it makes me so, so happy. I like to work and be busy, but at the same time it takes away from a lot that is important to me.

Relationships tend to suffer when you’re busy and finding a balance can be a struggle. Friendships fall on the wayside before your family relationships do, but those suffer as well. I have a niece that turns 1 at the end of this month and I’ve seen her two or three times.

Hopefully, slowing down for Delainey shifts my focus back to relationships permanently. Afterall, relationships are my whole entire life.

I think that the reason it wasn’t too difficult to be in survival mode and a recluse is because I wasn’t actually void of human interaction. Points for having a husband and roommate! But seriously, in the last year I’ve had way more guy interaction than girl interaction and I’ve been missing a good connection with my girls.

I’ve also noticed that in this season, my friendships are easier. Yes, I still fret about friendships and people I haven’t connected with in awhile, but it is in a more lassez-faire sort of way. I know these friendships are not over merely because we haven’t communicated. At the same time, I feel that some friends I may have drifted apart from because of different life seasons, have come back to me.

Maintaining a friendship in your twenties can be difficult, especially if that friend does not work with you. I was talking about this with my high school best friend the other day. Work friends are easy and work friends end up being the people you tell the most to and do the most with because you see them every day. Sometimes it is just too much to call or text your best friend and fill them in on EVERYTHING in your life that’s taken place since you last had a chance to talk.

I want you to know that this is totally okay. You’re not a bad friend. Some people may see this as being a bad friend. Some friends don’t understand.

Once, when I was leaving survival/recluse mode and about to go into my busy but sociable stage, I tried to invite a friend to something on FB, only to find out that he had deleted me. I reached out over text message and he angrily replied that he was waiting to see how long it would take for me to realize I had been deleted since I never texted him first.

In my mind, our friendship was just fine. He would text me “Hey, what’s up” and I would reply and we’d chat about life. We lived over 100 miles away so we couldn’t hang out often. Whenever I was back home and closer to him, I would invite him and his gf to whatever it was I was doing. He always declined because of his gf. So, in my mind, we were just at different stages, but for him our friendship was over.

It’s okay for that to happen. Our friendship did not lose any of its significance. We won’t ever be friends again because of how hurt he felt by me, but I would feel open to a friendship. As long as a friendship doesn’t end with a huge blow out, I can rekindle it.

I’ve had other friends where we seemed to be in different seasons and we just quietly stopped talking as much, each of us probably feeling slightly slighted by the other but realizing that it wasn’t anything personal. At the end of that season, we were able to be friends again.

Has any one else encountered seasons and relationships like this? What’s your biggest advice to someone struggling with a friendship?

raewyn

9 Tips for 9 Months

Let’s flashback for a moment to my pregnancy. It’s crazy to think that it’s been a month since I gave birth. Crazier to think that it’s been 9 months since we found out we were pregnant!

While I was pregnant, I worked 50+ hour weeks regularly until I was 34 weeks pregnant. I took my maternity leave a little early because school happened to be ending. Waking up at 5am every day for my hour commute, returning home between 3 and 4 only to have an hour to eat and rest before heading off to another 5 hour shift was exhausting. But I survived. Some days I was cranky beyond belief and other days I came home with a ton of energy.

Many women aren’t lucky enough to have an easy breezy pregnancy. Some of us have to work a ton to be able to afford a baby, while others suffer physically. Here are my 9 tips to get through it, no matter what type of pregnancy you have.

9tipsfor9months

1. Rest whenever possible. Nap time became the best time. I used to take naps in my car before work, between classes in my classroom, lunch time, between jobs – any chance I got!

2. If you have morning sickness and nausea, try a glass of soda water and bitters. For me, this has always worked better than ginger ale, although ginger tea helps my tummy. While this may not cure the most severe nausea, I urge you to try it before getting any anti-nausea medicine. I’ve had friends’ doctors prescribe Zofran, which has side effects including birth defect. One of my oldest friends is now waiting for her daughter to be old enough to have surgery for a cleft palate.

3. Eat what you’re craving. My doctor was adamant on this one. She said that we crave what our body needs for the baby and that everything is okay in moderation. I even *shock* ate a few hot dogs while pregnant. I didn’t have too many cravings but I did indulge in some.

4. Take vitamins! I’m not just saying your prenatals either. I found out halfway through my pregnancy that my gummy prenatals did not have enough iron in them! I also found out I have a Vitamin D deficiency and started taking Vitamin D supplements. The baby will get all of the nutrients he/she needs from you, leaving your body deficient for what you need.

5. Don’t track your weight gain. The number on the scale is just that, a number. Let your doctor tell you if you’re in a healthy weight range. I made it a point not to weigh myself during my pregnancy because I was worried I might get self-conscious thinking I gained too much or too little. People are already going to be commenting on your size, so don’t add your own voice to that!

6. Drink all the water! I’m not that great at drinking water but pregnancy made me thirsty – and you really need to up your intake of water during pregnancy. Now that I’m breastfeeding, I also chug water like nobodies business.

7. Accept free samples and sign up for rewards programs. I signed up for Pampers, Gerber, Similac, and more. We were planning on breast feeding and doing baby-led weaning, but you can never be too prepared! Anything we don’t end up using I can donate to a women’s shelter. Also, accept hand me downs!!

8. Prepare yourself for the unexpected. I didn’t create a birth plan because I didn’t want to feel let down by my expectations. I know that anything can happen when you’re having a baby so my plan was “have a healthy baby.” As I said in our birth story, we were prepared to do things naturally with an epidural and it ended in an emergency c-section to save my baby’s life.

9. Document your pregnancy! Save all of the little things and take bumpie pictures. You’re going to be sad you didn’t! I stopped taking my bumpies because I was feeling cranky and swollen and now that I look back I wish I had pictures from the last few months.

 

What are your tips for a healthy pregnancy?

raewyn

Delainey’s Birth Story

I love reading other mama’s birth stories. Since Delainey came into the world in a whirlwind, I wanted to be sure to document all of it on the blog.

I was convinced that Delainey was going to try to arrive early. I was born five weeks early in an emergency c-section and I just had some feeling that she wouldn’t make it to her due date.

We RSVP’ed yes to the weddings that happened days before her due date anyway. I wasn’t missing out on the chance to celebrate! We ended up using both weddings as an opportunity to dance Delainey out. While she didn’t actually come out, she did get lower and lower each time.

For the entire month before her due date, I was dilated at 1 cm and 50-75% effaced. She was also really, really low. My doctor kept saying anytime. As July 9 quickly approached, I began doing everything I could think of to induce labor. I spent hours on my exercise ball bouncing and made sure to go out and walk every day.

But the morning of July 9 came and there was still no sign of her. On July 8, Iman’s dad had jokingly told Iman he needed to speed things up (his dad was leaving to go back home in a different state on the 11th) and our roommate told me that I had to stay outside so that my water wouldn’t break all over the floor. So, once July 9 hit, I was determined to do something.

I ended up using this recipe to make really spicy labor cookies. They are absolutely delicious actually, but gingerbread molasses cookies are my favorite. After the cookies finished I ate as many as I could – probably 7 or 8 large cookies. I began to feel sort of weird, but I had been having Braxton Hicks for weeks.

My best friend usually spends the night on Thursdays, so when she got to our house I insisted we go to Walgreens to get her TDAP. As we were there I definitely decided I was in early labor. Of course, contractions every 10 minutes apart is no big deal and could last for days, so I ate more spicy cookies.

11203046_10155759564250401_1830215526172217638_n

That night Jimi had a food baby, so we took a bumpy together. The above picture is actually mid contraction. I barely slept that night because having a baby is nerve-wracking and exciting, plus having strong pains every ten minutes doesn’t lend itself to much sleep.

I woke up around 5 am to use the restroom. Later, I decided my water had broken and it was a trickle, so I woke Iman up and told him we should call the hospital. We also called my mom, my dad and his dad.

We arrived at the hospital (amidst my mom’s Facebook post that TODAY IS THE DAY). They checked me into triage and…nope my water had not broken. I was still 1 cm dilated and the contractions were 7 minutes apart. So they sent me home.

We went out to breakfast with my mom and headed over to Iman’s best friend’s house to wait it out. We live about 30 minutes from the hospital – 60 minutes in traffic – but our friends live 12 minutes away.

20150710_124827

I was finally able to take a nap at their house. After awhile, I woke up and we decided to go on a walk. They live on a hill, so walking up and down the hill definitely sped up the contractions. Then we went and got food at TGIF. We sat at the bar because sitting-at-a-bar-having-contractions is so something I would do. While there, the contractions progressed to every 5 minutes, so I called the hospital to see if I should come back.

They had me wait until my contractions were 3.5 minutes apart, so we went back to our friends’ house. Things were chugging along and we were deciding if we should walk again, when suddenly my contractions became unbearable. Seriously, when they say you know it isn’t Braxton Hicks…you will know!

That sweet puppy above knew every time I was about to have a contraction and he was so sympathetic. Once they were getting too intense and I was clutching Iman crying, we called the hospital and they told me to come back.

In the car Iman said: “We’ll be there in 12 minutes” and all I could think and say were “That’s over 4 contractions.” I cried the whole car ride there.

This time when I got checked in, there were 3 other girls getting checked in as well. It took a little longer for them to attend to me because of this and I was literally yelling in pain. I always knew I was a complainer…

My blood pressure was on the high side – as it had been throughout pregnancy – but it was rising because of the pain. This made them decide to admit me and give me an epidural.

They wheeled me into the room and then we found out the anasthesiologist was going to be about half an hour so they gave me Nubian, which made me feel woozy drunk. I could still feel the contractions but it was like I had injured myself while drinking – a pain but not somethin I’m super focused on.

When the anesthesiologist came in, I started to cry for fear of the epidural. I always knew I wanted one but the thought of a giant needle sticking out of my back scared me. Luckily, that’s the primitive way and the new way is to have a line (similar to an IV line) that I couldn’t feel.

Then I couldn’t feel contractions at all. So Iman went and got some food for him and my mom. While he was gone, the doctor came in and told me she would be breaking my water very shortly.

As Iman came back, the team rolled in to break my water, luckily. They broke it and withing seconds Delainey’s heart rate dropped. The doctor had me rolling back and forth because that’s supposed to shock them into normalcy.

Of course, Delainey still didn’t like that so they filled my amniotic sac with a fake water substance that was supposed to help. At this point, our doctor looks at me and says “We may need to do a c-section. Are you okay with this?”

I said, “Yes definitely.” As I mentioned, I was a c-section baby as were my brother and Iman. I thought it was sort of funny that the doctor expected me to fight the idea of a c-section. I’m on team “do anything to deliver me a healthy baby” and if that means a c-section to save her life, I was in!

20150710_222220

 

Within seconds of the first mention of a c-section, it quickly became decided for us. Delainey’s heart rate was not rising and we were in the danger zone. They yelled “CODE GREEN” like a million times, and started unhooking me and threw scrubs at Iman.

Within seconds, I was wheeled into the OR. During this time, all I could think was that Iman is probably getting really scared about losing his girls.

He later said he was scared but felt a sense of calm, like everything would be okay. He said he felt that calm when he thought about his mom (she’s his guardian angel).
20150710_223147

When we got to the OR they told me I needed to move from the bed to the operating table and, apparently, I moved quicker than expected. I laughed and said “well, you said it was an emergency!” Epidural medicine clearly makes me uber calm. They then gave me general anaethesia and I was out.

Iman was not allowed in during the c-section because it happened so fast and I was completely under. They kept him updated, though. While he was by the operating room waiting to go in, my mom called my dad. He and my brother showed up as well as Iman’s dad, grandparents and brother.

Iman was allowed into the room after Delainey was born, before they finished stitching me up, so he got to see what he calls my “dead body on the table” because c-sections mean your organs are out.

Here’s one of the first pictures of our little girl :)

20150710_225355

She was taken to the NICU because she had meconium on her face. This was why her heart rate had dropped when they broke my water. She was distressed by the meconium that was left behind.

Normally, a baby would be in the NICU for a few days if they inhaled meconium, but luckily she did not!

20150710_225428
20150710_234302

She was in the NICU for 4 hours so I didn’t get to see her right away or have the Golden Hour. I was really out of it when they woke me up, of course. Iman’s brother was the first person I saw besides my mom and Iman and I was thoroughly confused by his presence. Everyone had to leave me alone initially to recover. My mom was allowed in there and I just remember talking to her about random things.

First I asked for my glasses. Then I asked about Delainey. Then I expressed my worry about Bella and the nurse thought I was talking about our daughter and my mom was like “no she’s just talking about her dog.” I don’t even know why I was worried about Bella, since she was at home with our roommate just fine.

2015-07-12 15.15.59

Iman wasn’t with us at this time because he was in the NICU giving Delainey her first bottle. He came back after awhile and showed me pictures of her – which I don’t remember seeing at all. Everyone eventually left without meeting Delainey that day because because she didn’t get out of the NICU until 2am.

My mom and brother stayed so my mom could take pictures of Iman and I when I first got to hold Delainey. They brought her in and I was so excited to see her. Of course I cried. As soon as I held her she started rooting – knowing I was her mama – and I had to ask if I could feed her because of the medicine.

The nurse showed me how to hold her and was about to show me how to get her to latch when BAM! My hungry little girl knew exactly what to do.

20150711_090556

And this is how we spend most of our days, now. Although she is quite a bit bigger and my arms look less awkward because I don’t have stitches anymore and I’ve basically got this breastfeeding thing DOWN.

Of course, our first night was very crazy and Delainey and I were up all night (she snorted for the first 24 hours and her snorts scared her awake and she’d cry). We stayed in the hospital from Friday until Monday, leaving a day early because we were both recovering fantastically!

birth announcement raewyn

One Baby Shower Wasn’t Enough

I hope you guys are ready for a bunch of picture-heavy baby posts. I have other post ideas that I’ve been working on since May, but right now I’m basically attached to Delainey, so I don’t have much time to type words. I’m choosing to cherish the cuddles (and the time we have with Iman home…this is his last week) and focusing on that instead of getting back into blogging – though all of my creativity seems to have returned now that I’m no longer pregnant.

I attempted to share this baby shower post in May when it happened, but as you noticed, I didn’t get much done. I struggled with the idea of having so many baby showers but so many people wanted to attend that I didn’t want to stress someone out with a huge amount of people at their house.

My mom, aunt and cousin threw my family baby shower at my aunt’s house. We didn’t play any games, but spent a lot of time chatting and eating, which is basically my favorite thing to do at a party anyway.

2015050295132613

My adopted mom made Delainey and I matching crocheted crowns and I’m excited to share with you some cute newborn photos of her in them. (Hint, you can already see the two of us on Instagram in our crowns).

Also, I’m totally aware I don’t really look pregnant.

2015050295131924

I told my mom she had to wear a pink dress and she decided to attend her first event without her wig. Isn’t her hair so cute?

2015050295131351

Most of the pictures from this shower are during present opening. Since I wasn’t taking a million pictures and living in the moment, I just stole pictures from my family. This blanket my grandma made for Delainey.

IMG951311

Iman’s grandparents, aunts and uncles are the best at getting gifts together. It really is the smartest thing. They pooled their money together and got us our crib and pack and play.

IMG950985

Of course, I have to show off my unconventional diaper cake. It’s a quad (dirtbike) with a cute little dog rider. My cousin’s girlfriend stayed up until 3am on her birthday making it for me. This dog toy is one of Delainey’s favorites, actually. It vibrates and plays a song and we put it with her when she’s fussy.

The following weekend, Jess threw me a girls only brunch with my closest girlfriends!

IMG_0017

Fun fact: there was so much confetti we found some in our undergarments.

IMG_0407

Hey Jess, thanks for being the best friend EVER!! (Also, there’s a ton of pix of this shower because Jessica can’t help but take a million pictures. Thanks for being my unofficial photographer!)

IMG_0409

IMG_0422

IMG_0408

IMG_0406

IMG_0426

IMG_0424

IMG_9837

IMG_0016

Also, having a waffle bar is probably one of the easiest brunch ideas. She got a waffle maker for her wedding so she made waffles and just put out bowls of toppings + adorable little sweets. Easy as pie!

FullSizeRender

We played a lot of fun games, like what’s in your purse and this ingenious game about getting pregnant.

IMG_9881

Half the girls were given a plunger and the other half were given TP. The goal was for the “girls” to stay still as the “guys” try to impregnate the girls without using their hands.

IMG_9882

IMG_9892

I got some amazing snapchat videos of this.

IMG_9909

Katy and Sam are expecting their first child 😛

IMG_9910

There was also a fun balloon popping game, but on a real note, I popped a bunch of balloons with my belly somehow?

IMG_9967

IMG_9968

It’s fun to pop balloons full of confetti.

IMG_9997

The girls had to guess how big my belly was.

IMG950007

And lastly, Jess had set up a little photobooth area and I took pix with all of the girls who made it :)

Then I jetted over to my dad’s for our co-ed baby shower. Iman and I threw this shower because we had a lot of guy friends who wanted to celebrate with us. If we hadn’t split the showers up into three, we basically would have had a repeat of our wedding. We are so blessed to have so many people who love us and Delainey!

IMG953853

Our friend Jocelyn decorated my dad’s backyard in the cutest way, but of course I forgot to take pictures. I set up a few games like “guess the baby food.” But the hit of the night was chugging your beer in a baby bottle.

IMG953875

Our co-ed shower went late into the night and was so much fun minus the part where I was the only sober person. We attempted to have the theme “a baby is brewing” but I didn’t end up ordering all of the fun stuff off Etsy in time. If you like the theme, you can check out my Pinterest board.

I can’t believe it was three months ago that we had these parties. We are so, so grateful for the love and gifts we were showered with!!

Did you have a girls only or a co-ed baby shower? I’d love to hear about your shower!

raewyn

P.s. If you’re looking for some simpler baby shower ideas, check out the boy baby shower and girl baby shower I threw last year.